Stress

In the run-up to publication of my new book Carers and Caring; the One Stop Guide; how to care for older relatives and friends I am sharing some of the practical solutions learned from research and experience. If you think any problems have been missed, you can email me and tell me, and I’ll make sure they are covered in the next edition and online on my website at www.juneandrews.net. 

Important to recognise stress

The first and most important thing about stress is to recognise it. It is when you’re under pressure and feel unable to cope. It starts to affect the way you think, your sleep, your digestion – everything about your daily life. You get angry and impatient. 

The second most important thing is to talk about it. It might feel bad to say out loud that caring for someone dependent on you is getting you down, but if your listener knows you and understands they will know that you are not a bad person. 

Caring is a big job, talking can take weight off your shoulders

Being a carer is a big job at the best of times even if things are going well, and sometimes they don’t go well. In conversation with someone else you may discover sources of help that you didn’t know about that will take some of the pressure off you. You may even find that just talking about it makes you feel better. Often people are stressed because they feel they should be doing more than they already are. Ideas in this A to Z series for reducing effort and increasing income might help. 

Celebrate small victories when you make it through another day. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Accept that you have done your best and no one can do any better than that. Focus on what you can control and don’t worry about anything else. Take any help that will reduce your carer burden, but remember to be specific and ask people for the help you need. There is more advice on this in Chapter Five of Carers and Caring.

Three hints:

1.     Spot stress before it harms you

2.     Talk to someone

3.     Ask for help with your caring