•  An idea for an easy trifle recipe

• Tell people what you want for Xmas

On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me, a partridge in a pear tree…. Now who would actually ask for that?

There is a brilliant radio play called “Yet Another Partridge in a Pear Tree.”  The story is about a woman (played by Penelope Keith who always manages to be hilarious) who is given unwanted gifts as in the song of the Twelve Days of Christmas.  Her house descends into mayhem as by the end of the twelve days she has 12 partridges in 12 pear trees along with considerable numbers of French hens, ladies dancing etc.  It reminds me of when I was a ward sister in a hospital for older people and someone from the relatives group asked me what I would appreciate as a Christmas gift.  Of course, I said, “No, don’t get me anything,” but when pressed about whether I ever appreciated a bottle of sherry I said I did, just to be polite. The word got out among the other members of the relatives group. By January the second I had in my possession about 32 bottles of sherry and I only had 28 patients. I will not reveal how I disposed of the fragrant nectar but suffice it to say my home-made trifles had always been a hit with the rest of the nursing staff.  The Italian doctor called them “English soup,” and they were very schloopy.  The recipe was shaped by the fact that there wasn’t a lot of kitchen equipment in the nurses’ home, but I attach it here.

Tell people what you want for Christmas

The lesson from that Christmas was that it is not wrong to tell people what you want for Christmas.  I was brought up not to ask for things.  “Those who ask, don’t get,” was a bit of a motto.  I know families of people affected by dementia who still have that idea.  They don’t like to ask for things.  And if something is offered, they don’t like to say, “Thank you for offering me that, but I’d rather have this...”

My only gift to people affected by dementia in this run up to Christmas is some free advice.  Always, always ask for what you want.   Time is short and you may be tired, so don’t waste too much time being shy.  People want to help you and they don’t know how, so help them along by being specific about what would help you.  They won’t mind you asking and if they do, they weren’t worth asking anyway.   You might not mind being left with 32 bottles of sherry you don’t really want, but on the other hand, it might be better to have 32 of what you really want, whether that is offers of house sitting, shopping, lifts to the church, some gardening or just a long leisurely conversation over some tea.  You are allowed to ask for help.  But make sure you are specific.

Christmas should be a trifle

And for those of you stuck in a nurses’ residence with a minimal kitchen (does that still happen?) here it is.

The Schloopy Trifle recipe.

Ingredients

• Cake (any kind, though a swiss roll will do)

• Cream (any kind, but double is nice)

• Fruit (any, tinned, fresh, frozen, even jam)

• Tin of custard

• Hundreds and thousands (if you have any)

• Sherry

Method

Put cake in large bowl and add as much sherry as humanly possible.  Add fruit or jam.  Cover in custard.  Pour cream on top.  Decorate with hundreds and thousands if you can be bothered.  Share. Or just eat…

Bon Appetit!!

If you would like more information, you can buy my book Dementia, the One Stop Guide or Care Homes: When, Why and How to Choose a Care Home. I am available for consultancy for families or organisations. And if you have any further queries or questions, or suggestions for something you’d like to see me write on, please contact me via the Contact Page

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