Drinking and Dementia at Xmas
Hints for carers of someone with dementia who has problems with alcohol consumption
How friends can help with the problem of a person with dementia who can’t control alcohol
Xmas can be a nightmare if you are helping someone to control their drinking
Yesterday’s blog was about how drinking alcohol to excess can cause brain injury and a form of dementia that is entirely avoidable. The Christmas season is a nightmare for anyone who is trying to support the self-management of drinking of someone with dementia. You know why you want to do it. The dementia may have been caused by alcohol. Even if it was not, drinking now will create a risk of increased confusion and falls - a fast track to hospital, or care.
The person with dementia often won’t remember how much they have had to drink, and even if they agree to reduce it, they may not be able to hold to that resolution. If you are the carer for a person with dementia who has a problem with alcohol, the most important first thing you must do is take care of yourself. It is exhausting to be a carer at any time. The additional problem of holding out against the wave of social pressure, advertising and tradition that makes Christmas a danger zone for problem drinking can make life a misery.
How to control consumption of alcohol in someone with dementia
If you are the adult child of a person with dementia who can’t control alcohol
Keep a dry house. Don’t have alcohol in the house even at Christmas, and if any groceries are delivered to the house, make sure the supplier knows you are a ‘dry’ household
Make sure family and friends know about this difficulty and advise them of what they can do at Christmas that is fun. You are not being disloyal because what you are doing is in the interest of the person you care for.
Get support for yourself through a dementia organisation where you may get good ideas from others living with the same problem especially at this time of year when getting drunk is almost socially acceptable.
Friends can be of help too
If you are the friend of a family that is struggling with this, here are some hints about how you can help.
Bring gifts of non-alcoholic wine or beer. The offerings these days are packaged attractively and have good flavours so that the person drinking might not always be aware that there is no booze in there. Don’t drink alcohol in front of them.
Don’t talk about alcohol fuelled events now or in the past that you have enjoyed. They were fun, but there is no need to bring it up if it is going to make the person fancy a drink now.
Organise festive outings, like afternoon tea at a garden centre or tea shop, or dinner at a restaurant that doesn’t serve alcohol, so you are entertaining in a place where wine, beer or spirits are not an option.
Talking with others helps, and Al Anon the organisation for friends and family who are worried about someone’s drinking has advice from people going through the same difficulty as you. Everyone lives with a different situation, including different reasons why the person wants to keep drinking. It may be a new problem, or a lifelong issue made worse by the dementia. Uncontrolled anger of the person denied alcohol is a risk to the carer. The important thing is that feeling guilty about not being able to save the person is a burden you can’t afford to carry. This is a complex problem that demands professional support. There is more about being a carer here for a person with dementia on this website here.
If you would like more information, you can buy my book Dementia, the One Stop Guide or Care Homes: When, Why and How to Choose a Care Home. I am available for consultancy for families or organisations. And if you have any further queries or questions, or suggestions for something you’d like to see me write on, please contact me via the Contact Page
See my new course on Dementia the One Stop Guide on Policy Hub here
