Christmas in Care Homes
Christmas looks different and individual in every care home
Sometimes less is more when it comes to marking the seasons
Planning in advance can make Christmas easier for people in care homes
Christmas and dementia in care homes can be a tricky subject. Care homes are rightly required to do everything they can to keep things happy and interesting for residents. And they love doing this. Apart from the fun for families and friends, the staff get pleasure from what they do. The best care homes find ways of marking the seasons while catering for the individual needs of each different person who lives there. Christmas is one of those important seasons. But sometimes there are sensitive issues and there is more than one way of looking at it.
Christmas is different in every care home
Take this first care home for example -
Our devoted staff work to make Christmas extra special for residents. We have a month-long calendar of festive activities, culminating with a Christmas party, singing, and dancing. On the big day we will have a turkey dinner with all the trimmings, and Christmas pudding with brandy butter. We all dress up in Christmas jumpers and sing to the residents before going home to our own families.
Another care home has a different approach -
We always used to think that you can’t “overdo” the Christmas idea until we realised that for some residents a strong message that “Christmas is coming” left them homesick and wanting to leave to join families that were no longer there, in houses that no longer exist. Of course, we still observe the Christian calendar for people who have a faith, but we have considerably cooled down the frenzy that we used to have starting in early December. Instead, we have more of a “Winter Festival” theme with fairy lights and warm traditional winter foods, but it is less frenetic, and there is less fuss. And less talk of Christmas past.
Loud music and activity can be difficult for people with dementia
Loud music and lots of activity is often difficult for people with dementia. It may be that the care home where your loved one is looked after seems a little low-key about the holiday season. It is worth realising that this is deliberate, and that the focus on keeping everyone comfortable and cared for, with lots of interesting things to do as time goes by, is maintained throughout the year. Celebrating every single day is the aim. Now, early in December, it is worth asking what is planned and checking if that seems the right thing for the resident you care for. The home will also want to know if you intend to take the person out on the day or any other day around that time.
It felt wrong to leave mum in the care home on Christmas Day. I thought that this might be her last Christmas and I didn’t like the idea that we were already behaving as if she was gone. But it would have been disturbing for her to be hauled along to my house to be in the presence of grandchildren and great grandchildren she no longer recognises, just for my comfort. So, I made my peace with the idea that it was OK for her to be left out that day. And I focussed on the young ones at our house and nursed my sore heart quietly. I know the care home looked after all the residents kindly on the day.
Advance planning is useful for people with dementia
This is not easy, but it always helps to have a think in advance and decide what choices you have and how you are going to make them. Everyone who has these hard decisions deserves our blessings and prayers, or even some practical help and support. Tomorrow’s blog will be about when other members of your family think differently about what should happen on Christmas Day.
If you would like more information, you can buy my book Dementia, the One Stop Guide or Care Homes: When, Why and How to Choose a Care Home. I am available for consultancy for families or organisations. And if you have any further queries or questions, or suggestions for something you’d like to see me write on, please contact me via the Contact Page
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