How can I choose a care home? Five key things to think about
This is probably the most expensive and one of the most emotional decisions in your life. It can cost well over £1,000 a week for the foreseeable future.
You might have promised you’d never allow it. The person who needs the home may be protesting against it. Other family members could be arguing that it’s too soon. Hospital systems may be pressuring you into releasing the bed that your loved one is sitting in. And you have to decide.
Here are five tips from someone who has been through it, in theory and in practice. A lot of my professional life is about helping families do this for someone with dementia.
Location is crucial. The travel time to the home for visits of family, friends, and neighbours matters, even if you are sorting this out from 100 miles away.
Local intelligence matters. The website and the grades of the home are helpful, but it’s even more important to find out what local friends and neighbours say. Do you know anyone who has used the home, or worked there? If there is time visit or get a trusted friend to visit and know what to look for and where the red flags might be.
Staff make the difference. No matter how posh or ordinary the building, it’s the way people talk to each other, to visitors and to the residents that counts. Do they have dementia training? Do they knock on doors before entering? Do they know residents and address them by name? There are so many ways of spotting their attitude and beliefs.
How are you going to pay? All care homes must be paid for, either by the resident, the local authority, or the NHS. Being a self-paying resident gets you to the front of the queue. If you are reliant on health and social services, there are many hoops to jump through and the person can wait for a long time. You can use that time to start looking for your preferred location, because you still have some choice, even if the system is trying to push you towards a place you don’t like. Tell them why and press for a better one.
Prepare. Find out as much information in advance as possible. Although my book Care Homes has a few chapters about avoiding care homes, it goes on to make it clear how they work. You need to know how to choose one, what they should offer, and what to do if it’s not right. It’s a quick read, you can download it instantly on Kindle if you are in a hurry or Amazon will get it to you the next day in paperback. With such a huge decision, it is worth investing less than a tenner to get expert advice quickly.
In an ideal world we’d all think about these things and plan them in advance. Don’t panic if you didn’t. I’m always happy to respond to email requests for information and supporting people at this time is what makes me tick. Best of luck!
