Avoiding ‘Caregiver Burnout’
Anyone knows that being a carer is difficult, and I’m amazed at the resilience and courage of the carers I meet. One told me that she needs help and feels isolated by her 24-hour responsibility. At times, she feels judged by the rest of her family for the quality of her caring. Not least, she has some new health problems of her own that are making life even more difficult.
As a professor of dementia studies, I meet hundreds of carers. These are some of the tips they have shared with me about how they stay well.
Aircraft safety announcements say, “Put on your own oxygen mask before you help anyone else”. Remember that taking care of yourself is not self-indulgence. You can only provide care if you keep yourself well by eating right, getting exercise, sleeping enough, and getting treatment for any of your own health problems.
Get as much information as possible. A good source is Dementia the One Stop Guide (now available as an audiobook) which gives links to the Alzheimer’s Society and many other organisations that are there to help. It also gives specific advice about the most difficult problems such as aggression, wandering, and sleeplessness that people with dementia will present.
Ask other people to help you, and be specific about what you want. At a time like this, some friends are confused and anxious and don’t know what to do for you, even though they feel for you. You could ask for them to house-sit for you during the day, so you can get some time on your own, or even at night to allow you to get an uninterrupted sleep.
Try not to get isolated. It may be more difficult to get out and about, but there may be help from the local Alzheimer’s society who can tell you about dementia specific carer opportunities locally, or even better, use the offers of time from friends to keep up with your own interests.
I was recently in touch with one carer who felt very guilty about allowing anyone else to help. He did not like what was offered by health and social care and tried to do it all himself.
Sadly, this was a mistake, because I saw him getting frailer every day. Anyone reading this who knows a carer should read Dementia the One Stop Guide or Carers and Caring to get more information so that you can help a carer to care for themselves.
